Nano’s Red Dress

My grandmother, whom I call Nano, was ten years old in 1957.

She lived in Pakistan in a joint family, which meant that she not only lived with her parents but also with her cousins, aunts, and uncles. It was always lively- little children ran around, parents and grandparents gathered for chai, and even though all the cousins weren’t technically siblings, it felt as though they were.

One day, the house buzzed with excitement. Nano’s cousin was getting married! With a wedding came bridesmaids, and Nano’s whole family sat together as the dresses were handed out to the chosen bridesmaids.

Nano watched intently as the dresses were distributed. She saw one of her cousins burst with excitement upon receiving the first dress. The second, third, and fourth dresses were handed to her other cousins. Suddenly, there were no dresses left, and Nano’s hands remained empty.

The whole family had witnessed this moment, and Nano knew they had seen her being humiliated. A strong, painful feeling washed over her, a feeling she still remembers to this day. Yet, despite the hurt consuming her, she never let it show. Instead, she put on a smile and pretended nothing had happened.

Nano’s bhabi (her older brother’s wife) saw right through her act. Later, she approached Nano and invited her to the market. There, they ended up at a dress shop, where Nano spotted the most beautiful red fabric she had ever seen. It stood out against the others, immediately catching both her and her bhabi’s eyes.

Dressmakers usually take at least a week to sew a dress, but somehow, Nano’s bhabi had one made for her by the very next day. The dress was absolutely stunning- far more beautiful than the ones given to the bridesmaids. It draped elegantly, and the luxurious red fabric was the perfect choice.

On the day of the wedding, Nano’s dress was by far the most beautiful among the guests. In fact, it was so remarkable that Nano’s aunt even apologized to her mother for not choosing her as a bridesmaid. Throughout the wedding, Nano couldn’t stop smiling. She felt confident and happy, enjoying the wedding in her perfect new dress.

Nano told me that this story stayed with her all these years for two reasons. First, she still remembers the pain of being singled out by her family in such a cruel way. But more importantly, she remembers the sheer appreciation she felt for her bhabi, who saw her sadness and did something to make her feel better.

In the end, it didn’t matter that the aunt who had hurt her eventually apologized.

What truly mattered was that her bhabi recognized her unspoken pain and acted out of kindness. That, more than anything, showed Nano how much she was truly cared for.